It has been 146 days since I last put pen to paper here or fingertip to the keyboard rather. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder but in all honestly, I lost my will for writing for far too long. Way more than I am willing to admit. Over the past couple of months, I have been witnessing the ending of tv shows that I have been watching for the past 15 years and I was convinced that change was good. Painful, but good. So I figured maybe it was time to stop 'Mark My Style'. I had a very fulfilling run, one I made a lot of mistakes on (too many to count tbh), but like most of my childhood shows, I thought it would be best not to drag things out.
But then I thought that was just my mental health talking. It seems to be a common thing that you get trapped in a particular headspace where you have nowhere else to run so you, in a sense, end up self-destructing and ruining everything around you. Maybe this was just one of those times?
A couple of years ago I experienced something that changed my life (sadly it was not the good kind). I bring up mental health because of such. I use to revisit the situation daily and when you do that, your brain kind of resets. it losses its connection (or baseline if you want to be scientific) to love, joy and balance. Instead of the common baseline, your brain associates with the stress of such an experience because you have visited the memory of it so frequently. You can sweep the place looking for something good to reach for but it almost outweighs the bad looking for that little something that will trigger you again and then BAMN, you are back feeling down.
Over the past year and a bit I have been trying to alleviate myself from my problems and just when I thought I did, I landed myself into a deeper hole. However, over the past 5 or so months I have allowed myself to let go of certain things and people so I can basically reset and relive certain feelings. I have made a considerable amount of mistakes so far and will continue to do so, but at a lesser rate going forward. This, in turn, made me think about this blog. I mentioned earlier that change is good but painful. I have loved talking about fashion but I want to evolve this blog, and not end it tbh. I do enjoy talking about life experiences and even replaced my old DSLR recently and have been snapping everything and anything which has resulted in such joy. As cheesy as it sounds, I think I am slowly walking away from my past, and when you do that, you have the freedom to create your future. 'Mark My Style' was always all about fashion, but let's expand our wings and explore the unknown. I mean, photography is appealing (again), videography too. But so is mental health. Let's begin 'Chapter Two'.